If you have a baby and you travel... You have to read this..I could not stop laughing..

Barfing baby makes fellow fliers cry for parachutes
BY DAVE BARRY(This classic Dave Barry column was originally published July 22, 2001.)

We set out with a sense of foreboding. If you ever feel a boding, and later on something bad happens, that was a foreboding.

We were traveling from Miami to Minnesota, a state located near, or possibly inside, Canada. The reason we felt a boding was that we were carrying a live baby, and we had stupidly elected to travel by airplane.

I think that, instead of making such a big deal about weapons, the airlines ought to start cracking down on babies. Ask the average airline passenger: "Would you rather sit near a gun, or a baby?" Most passengers would answer: "Definitely the gun, as long as it was not shooting, at least not in my direction."

Under my proposal, when you got to the airport, instead of walking through a metal detector, you'd go through a baby detector. If the alarm sounded, security personnel would search you, and if they found a baby, they'd place you in an airport detention facility until the baby had reached an age appropriate for flying (19 years).

Tragically, the airlines do not have such a system, so we were allowed to board the plane with Sophie. She was the only baby. All the other passengers were adults returning from cruise-ship vacations. A lot of them had those beads in their hair that cruise-ship passengers get after their judgment has been impaired by drinking banana daiquiris before breakfast. All these people wanted to do was sleep.

It was a four-hour flight, and it went very well for, I would say, six minutes. At that point, Sophie became fussy, in that way that babies get when the only thing that makes them feel better is to scream and kick the back of a seat containing a hung-over cruise-ship passenger. The people around us were not happy. One man kept glaring at us, as though we WANTED our baby to annoy everybody. If that man, who was in seat 17-A, is reading this, I just want to say to him, by way of a sincere apology: Sir, your wife looked REALLY ugly with those beads in her hair. To continue click here..